The Things He Left Behind
by LuckyStars14
Summary: What if the circumstances were different before Tom's death, and Nicki was his girlfriend? What if he left Nicki something that she would have for the rest of her life? One-shot. Rated T to be safe.


_**Wow, I've taken a long time to finish this! xD I had this idea when series eight ended, but of course, I was busy like I usually am and it took ages for me to write it. Thankfully I've managed to finish it now!  
**_

It was strange how, when your loved one's heart stopped beating, the clock continued to tick. The moment when Tom fell from the roof, all Nicki really wanted was for time to stop, so she could rush to his side and be with him forever. Instead, it was Christine who knelt beside him and held his hand whilst he took his final breaths. Nicki was the one that managed to dig her phone out of her pocket to call 999, to keep her voice steady as she asked for an ambulance even when she knew it was too late. She managed to persuade the crowd of students and other teachers to go back to the hall, and by the time she returned to the playground... he was gone.

She had no idea how she managed to get over to him, but all of a sudden she was there. Her already wobbling legs didn't protest when she sunk to the ground, her hand tentatively reaching for his as it had done so many times before. His palm was still warm, giving the deceptive impression that at any minute his eyes would open and he would smile up at her. It made her heart ache to think that he'd never smile again. That there were so many things he would never do again.

Nicki didn't realise that she was crying until a tear slid from her face and dampened his shirt. Then, she clung to his hand, letting the sobs that she was trying to hold back overcome her. The cold of the tarmac and the rain meant nothing to her as she held him, letting all of the memories flood into her mind. The banter that they always had together. A shared a fondness for chocolate cookies. The way that he never thought the worst of anyone. His eyes, the eyes that she had spent what felt like a lifetime dreaming about. The fact that simply being in his arms was enough to make her feel like she was on cloud nine. How it felt to be kissed by him...

At that moment, she knew that she had to remember everything about him. She couldn't let herself forget even the tiniest detail.

The piercing siren must have entered her thoughts, but she didn't register that it meant the ambulance was there. She heard people talking, saying just how terrible it was that such a young life should be lost, and how it was evident that he would be sorely missed, but she didn't realise that they were commenting about him. They must have been talking to her, perhaps even talking about her, but she only looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Nicki." Christine's voice was unsteady, her eyes still watery. "I don't want to disturb you, but the paramedics, they'd like to..."

Even though the sentence remained unfinished, Nicki knew what needed to happen now, and she nodded numbly at Christine. Her legs were stiff from kneeling in one place so long, but she managed to get to her feet. Her eyes were trained upon Tom for one final glance, drinking in his face, peaceful now in death, before he was surrounded by paramedics and hidden from her sight. It was all she could do to stop her legs giving way again as she was led inside, and a steaming mug was placed in her hands. She started to sip the contents automatically, and as soon as she was finished, she slipped quietly from the school.

She didn't remember much from the drive home, but she did remember thinking that it was a minor miracle that she arrived there. As soon as the front door of her flat was shut, she collapsed onto the sofa, tears soaking an old jumper of Tom's that had been lying there. Without him, she could fall apart, and there would be nobody to pick up the pieces.

* * *

Nicki's eyes opened, and for a few seconds all she did was take in the golden light flooding in through the curtains. There was always a moment upon awakening when she didn't remember what had happened, but then the memories would come back to her, and they would always hit her hard. Today especially was a day that she had been dreading for a while now, a day when she just wanted to stay curled up in bed- and she would have done, had it not been for the sound that awoke her in the first place. A sound that, over the past few months, had been an alarm clock that she could never ignore. Stifling a yawn, she got out of bed and made her way to the next room. In there, lying in a crib, was the baby- a little boy. The little boy who, four months ago, entered Nicki's life and changed it forever. The little boy who would now rely on her for the next eighteen or so years. The little boy who, with his dark hair and blue eyes, looked so much like his father.

Cameron Thomas Boston.

It was the week after Tom's death when she realised that she was pregnant, and soon afterwards she was swathed in even more sympathy than she had been before. It was one thing for someone to lose their partner, but to then be carrying his baby was something else altogether. Throughout the pregnancy, people offered help and advice, but somehow Nicki felt more alone than ever. She hated the fact that Tom, who was definitely the more parental of the pair, would never be able to see their child. If she had found out just a few days earlier, Tom could have known. But now he never would.

At first, when Cameron was born, Nicki had struggled- she had never really had much experience with babies, and the few times she had held them she sought comfort from the fact that she could give them back to their parents if they cried. Now, there was nobody to hand Cameron back to, and she had to adjust to being a new parent the hard way, single and alone. However, everything eventually came together, and now Nicki looked after her son with a practised, almost professional ease. She had even stopped being quite so surprised that she'd managed to create this tiny human being herself.

"Good morning, Cameron." Nicki gently scooped up the baby, who quietened immediately when he recognised his mother. She walked, with him in her arms, to the window, and looked out across an awakening Greenock. To the people out there, it was just a normal Friday, the 4th of July. But to her, and everyone else at Waterloo Road, it was something bigger. It was a year since Grantly's charity auction. A year since Kyle and Tom had gone onto the roof, and...

"Today's a big day." She said softly to her son. "We're going to remember your father."


End file.
